Wow……I love our new little guy! Adjusting to four kids would be much easier if school wasn’t starting and my hubby wasn’t gone for two and a half weeks. So far I can never quite get ahead of anything……..any progress I make is thrashed by the end of the day. It is depressing……I miss my husband…..I miss feeling normal…..I miss feeling capable of accomplishing anything on my own…..I miss sleep……and I hate feeling alone, even though I have good friends, ward, and family here it is lonely when your spouse is gone, it is just different. I feel angry at the whole situation……mostly at myself for not being able to “DO” the things I need to, of being stuck…..women have babies everyday I should be able to have a baby, keep house, provide meals for my kids, and spend time with my kids – good time with them. Sorry for venting…………….I am very grateful that Kanon is such a good baby, so sweet, wonderful temperment…..a pretty easy baby……I think that’s why I’m frustrated with myself because as much as I could blame it on a “new baby” I can’t……he is great! I’m just falling a bit short….hopefully I can pick up my feet soon and get back in it.
I’ll have more pictures soon of Kanon and Dalia’s first day of school (today!) so cute…….it was like an older version of her going to nursery for the first time, no reservations just off and running…literally! it was fun to also watch Mataya and Gage today…..playing, taking care of each other, loving each other…..it will be good for them to have this time together.
Well, on with the show!